


Remember For When You Wake Up

by Mr_Lonely



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Descriptions of Blood, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Nausea, Nightmares, Panic Attack, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:40:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25232542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mr_Lonely/pseuds/Mr_Lonely
Summary: The worst nightmares were the ones you couldn't remember when you woke up.When Peter woke up from most nightmares, panting and crying, he knew what to avoid: stuff like knives, or guns, or fire, or on one strange occasion, dolls. It was manageable, and easier to hide that way. Nightmares he remembered turned into problems he could deal with.It wasn't a memory night.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 6
Kudos: 43
Collections: The Friendly Neighborhood Exchange





	Remember For When You Wake Up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [paperowl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperowl/gifts).



> Prompt was: "Peter unable to determine what's real after the snap and Mysterio (PTSD, anxiety, something else, up to you really)"
> 
> Hope you like it!!

The worst nightmares were the ones you couldn't remember when you woke up.

When Peter woke up from most nightmares, panting and crying, he knew what to avoid: stuff like knives, or guns, or fire, or on one strange occasion, dolls. It was manageable, and easier to hide that way. Nightmares he remembered turned into problems he could deal with.

It wasn't a memory night.

Peter woke with a rush of adrenaline to his system, instantly tending all his muscles as he stared at the wall across from his bed.

Darkness: fine.

Peter was getting better at figuring out when he was having a panic attack, but he couldn't get a full breath into his lungs, let alone step back and try to analyze his symptoms.

All that mattered right now was that he felt like he was going to throw up.

_Now, if only I wasn't so scared of the idea of moving._

Peter pushed back his blanket with numb hands and stood up on numb legs, shoulders hitched up to his ears; he stumbled to the bathroom, fumbling for the light switch.

_I don't know where I am._

_Oh, fuck. Fuck. I don't know where I am._

There were only two places he could have been. Home, in Queens, or with Mr. Stark. Had his brain been calmer, Peter would have remembered the plans to stay at Stark Tower while Aunt May was away.

He finally found the light switch, and made the mistake of looking in the mirror.

There was Mysterio, looking him dead in the eye, smiling.

"None of this is real. I'm still here, in. Your. _Head_."

There was green smoke filling the room and Peter couldn't breathe and his spidey senses were failing him, they weren't working because this bathroom wasn't real, it was a trick and he never got away and--

Peter didn't remember ripping the mirror off the wall and shattering it, but suddenly he was kneeling on the shards.

He heard shouts and knocking at his bedroom door. (When had he closed that?)

He tried to stand up but his legs wouldn't work and that nausea came back and oh, no-

_Standing is a no. Floor, I can do._

Peter inhaled and closed his eyes, trying to hear past the ringing in his ears because he swears someone is calling him but he can't fucking tell because what if it's another lie and it's not real- A split second before the footsteps get close enough Peter is stuck to the ceiling corner in the shower, acting only on instinct, eyes firmly shut. He can't remember the last time his lungs filled enough.

Someone is talking but he can't listen because that's how he won, his words were like maggots and they crawled into his ears and ate away at his brain-

It was a long time before Peter calmed down.

* * *

On Tony's list of "Shit that Sucks", almost dying falls about fifth.

Fourth was watching his parents die.

Third was being helpless as Rhodey fell.

Second was watching Pepper fall.

First was seeing his kids hurt and not being able to do a damn thing to stop it.

Tony should have been asleep, as Pepper would have reminded him, but her and Aunt Hottie were on a Girl Scout Trip with Morgan, so Peter got to stay at Stark Tower. It was nearing the end of fall, and for some reason the students had a three day weekend. Tony was expecting a calm weekend, full of working with Peter in the workshop on all sorts of dumb little projects, and seeing the kid smile finally.

It's been a long time since he's seen Peter smile.

And fuck, if that didn't hurt.

He heard the crash. He heard the scream that sounded so terrified, Tony was running before he realized that running at a traumatized enhanced teenager wouldn't be a good idea.

"Peter? Are you okay?" Stupid question when the answer was obvious, but it was more to gauge the kid's reaction. There was no response.

Tony opened his mouth to tell FRIDAY to talk to Peter, but a voice coming from no one source would also not be a good idea. Instead, he pressed his ear against the door.

"I'm coming in, okay kid? It's me, it's Tony."

He tried so hard to keep his voice from shaking.

The door wasn't locked. The comforter was still on the bed. And Peter was lodged in a ceiling corner, bleeding from gashes in his knees and shins.

Tony paused outside the bathroom to try and calm down because he needed to be here for Peter, not spiraling because the sight of his kid in pain brought back the worst memories-

"Peter? Can you hear me?" Tony kept his voice in a whisper, because anything higher would shatter the calm.

Peter let out a wounded sound, and shifted farther into the corner.

Tony was careful to avoid the shattered glass. He ignored the hole in the wall (how did he constantly forget how _strong_ Peter was) and made sure his movements were slow and exaggerated as he moved into the bathroom. Peter's eyes were still firmly shut, but he was tilting his head in that way he did when he was listening to his spider sense that Aunt May (and everyone, not that they'd say) found adorable. Tony felt tears spring to his eyes.

"You're bleeding, kiddo." Tony pushed some of the mirror out of the way with his foot, and groaned as he sat down on the floor (he hated being so creaky and achy but age and saving the universe don't mix).

Tony absently tapped his arc, syncing it to his breathing. Peter was closing his eyes, but… it'd helped before.

Tony sat there, and hummed the first song he could think of. Then he hummed one after that.

And another.

He stopped counting how many songs he’d hummed, but he was halfway through an off-key rendition of “Strangers in the Night” by Frank Sinatra when Peter slowly, slowly, slid down from the ceiling.

Two more songs and Peter crawled over to Tony. And opened his eyes. He didn't say anything, so neither did Tony. They sat in silence for a moment, then two.

Moments and hours seemed like they were the same length before Peter rasped,

“Are you real?”

Tony’s heart clenched. “Yeah, kiddo. I'm real.”

“You're not-” Peter broke off, shaking his head like he was trying to dislodge something.

Waiting was not Tony’s strong suit, even with years of practice. There was a problem: his kid was scared. Tony needed to fix it. “Not what?”

“ _Dead_.”

The word was so quiet, if Tony hadn't been expecting it, he wouldn't have heard it.

“Peter, you can hear my heartbeat, right?”

He gave a shaky nod.

“And I'll tell you something only I know, but I should have told you a long time ago, and more than once.”

Peter looked him in the eye with so much apprehensive hope.

Tony cleared his throat. He did not need to start crying now, dammit. “I am so proud of you, kiddo. You are the best kid, and older brother, and mentee, and sidekick. You amaze me every time you're faced with something impossible and you come out of it still fighting. You,” Tony wiped at his eyes, “you always get back up. I love you, like you're my kid.”

Peter was crying too, and held and let go of his knees to launch himself at Tony. For a second, Tony couldn't breathe because the kid was crushing him so hard, but Peter remembered his super strength and loosened his hold. Tony didn't, though.

“I'm real, _mimmo_. I'm real and so are you and so is this room and everything out of it. You're okay, I've got you.”

* * *

They fell asleep on the couch watching Lilo & Stitch, snuggled under a blanket.

Tony cleaned whatever was still bleeding and made Peter change into fresh clothes. Peter kept one hand over Tony’s arc, and slept the rest of the night.


End file.
